ostensibly normal.

Auf Wiedersehen

2008-06-25T02:29:00.001-07:00

It's fairly fitting that just as some people's blogs experience a resurgence of activity over summer, I decide to leave daguerreotyped. I'm done writing entries with public consumption and the accompanying self-regulation at the back of my mind. The main purpose of this blog has evolved to become a quick reminder of where my time has been going. And there are a couple of exciting projects in the works that I'm either not allowed/yet willing to write about on a public forum - but if certain things work out you'll probably come to find out anyway, so there's no need for a blog to do that. So since that's all there is, let's keep dancing, break out the booze and have a ball.

So long, kids (:

2008-06-24T12:42:00.000-07:00

Terrible bout of guilt is possessing me so I'm confessing here: I got through 2 parts of Volume I of Das Kapital, and decided to Wikipedia the rest. It's too dense and my brain is already frying from reading 1984 documents on American economic history!

Burberry Prorsum S2009 Men's RTW

2008-06-24T10:44:00.000-07:00

This collection is so ridiculously yummy:

What a fantastic coat and pants! The coat's seriously gorgeous; all slouchy and sad at the top and then boldly striking out from the shoulders into a definite shape. But Tim Blank's right, the pigeon chest is a uniquely English attribute (maybe a couple of the munjen boys can pull it off) so don't try the inner shirt at home children. Also, as far as I'm concerned, mens' long pants should always cover their ankle. Hear that, Ennio Capasa? Don't care if you're wearing high-tops with an ankle skimming pair of pants, SO does not work.

I've never been a huge fan of olive green but Christopher Bailey could make a hemp sack look sexy. The pants fit so well and the entire outfit is so Dior Homme!

Ignore the top; what pants! They're positively dreamy with the perfect crease down the centre, perfect fit around the thighs, and topped (bottomed?) off with scrumptious loafers.

I just realised that bag options are so limited for guys. Bailey featured some bags as well, and they're lovely, but I can't really see a guy carrying them on the street without looking like his girlfriend palmed off her tote on him.

I cannot wait for Shriram to be old enough so I can dress him up. I'm thinking 16 is a good age; 1 more year of horrendous, maternally-influenced styles! I love my mother to bits but her clothing choices for my brother are so dull; I can't wait to go home and jazz up his wardrobe. Now that I've discovered that menswear can actually be vaguely interesting (for which I must grudgingly acknowledge A, Am and assorted males for bullying me into picking out clothes/shoes for them, or in A's case, entire wardrobes), having a brother suddenly seems to have its set of perks. Killing his individuality is a small price to pay for style.

Hahaha what a hottie.

Costume National Spring 2009 Men's RTW

2008-06-23T12:47:00.000-07:00

I love the coat and folder, but is it just my taste or do shiny black pants in that fabric and length just not work on anyone? Gorgeous shirt.

Major loving - although the male model's got a wee bit of paunch there. But you've got to love a man who can work a zipper (:

It took some squinting to figure out if that's a shirt underneath the blazer, but affirmative, it is. That's a heaven of a jacket though - why are the men's collections actually more interesting than the womens'?
edit: scrolling to the next picture revealed that the shirt is actually this:

I think I will go throw up now.

Now that my second class has begun, I can look forward every day to 6 hours of back-to-back classes and research, followed by 6 hours of reading and preparation for said classes and research. Let the summer frivolity begin.

2008-06-20T13:10:00.000-07:00

Soooooooo not to sound too delighted or anything, but GERMANY IN SEMI-FINALS YEEEEEE HAAA! Not too thrilled that their captain's a Chelsea man but if Germany can get to the finals and hoist that baby, I'm willing to call Ballack bhaijaan.

Have been shopping in the city a fair bit, and enjoying the beautiful weather that has finally made its appearance. Bay Area, TOOK YOU LONG ENOUGH. Dresses are finally actually wearable, and my beautiful Dior sunnies have a purpose again. Despite classes and 10 - 12 hours of research a week I actually am getting the holiday feeling. Which comprises of outings, lots of books and reading, pretty floral dresses and enormous floppy sun hats. Marvellous (:

2008-06-14T19:44:00.000-07:00

It's been a mad week. Aside from the sudden, random and utterly debilitating fever/flu routine that gripped me, I had to finish a midterm, a presentation and an essay in the same period of time and move into my new apartment (I had moved my stuff in, but not my actual person in until a week ago). So this weekend is really the first chance I've had to consider unpacking and more importantly, clear my life of the ridiculous amounts of paper I manage to accumulate. My apartment houses part of the Amazonian rainforest.

Since the last time we met!

- My lovely Adie came to Berkeley from Texas and we had a grand evening/early morning. It basically consisted of laughing much too loudly on public transport, realising desis own every motel/hotel/inn in California, four hours of sleep and much much heartwarming chatter. Despite her swiping of my contact lens solution (haha), it was really warm and fuzz-inducing to have her around.
- I flaked on numerous meetups and opted for huddling up in a corner of my bed, taking my first Panadols in years, wheezing very attractively and calling my mum in a very congested voice to inform her that I needed some pepper rasam Fedexed over, ASAP.
- Persevered! Through the haze and plugged through assignments, realised how hellish life can be without the Internet and introduced a whole class of PEIS kids to the amazingness that is Ryno's.

I wish the weather would stop being so schizo, it's wreaking havoc on my health and allergies. BAH.

2008-06-06T15:40:00.000-07:00

The Internet is so much more missed when it is not in constant, perpetual availability. I have been off the Net for a while now and it's positively draining on the spirit pshah.

Am looking forward to reading "The New Asian Hemisphere", anti-Western-bias-laden though it might be. The reviews are pretty discouraging, but I'd like to see Mahbubani's take on it anyway.

yeahhhhh!!

2008-06-02T11:08:00.000-07:00

Before anything else,

THONGFACEALICIOUS GOT INTO SCIENCES-PO!!! WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!

I'm so ridiculously happy for my newly debauched son (: Now if I could only find a picture where that kid actually SMILES. How grand life would be.

In other news, I'm all moved in to my new apartment. NO more disgusting cat in the house, no more 20 minute treks to campus, no more uphill treks back home, glorious wondrous close-to-campus/gym/healthcenter Southside beckons! So I can finally give you my new address, ask me if you want it.

Post-finals period has been brilliant. It's consisted of

Bears' Lair with the econs kids,
DJ TIESTO which was my first ever rave, and absolutely brilliant: a night of epic stories, adventures and music that made it worth every penny. 20,000 people + Ferry Corsten + Markus Schulz (discovery of the night! IS AMAZING!) = ridiculous atmosphere and such good times (:
two consecutive days of shopping with T on the first day and a bunch of people the next (I BOUGHT THINGS! Really hawt stuff actually, I'm surprised I found enough to grab my attention) in SF,
helping Am pick out a birthday present (karmically, it had better be really nice stuff when it's my turn, given the sheer number of girls who have benefited from my quite amazing taste in jewellery),
summer school; Classical Political Economy has begun and I'm loving the readings (mostly because it's an excuse to read familiar material again, and much more closely),
self-pampering in the form of a mani-pedi, facial and scented candles every night (:
The Prestige, which is hands-down, one of the top three movies I have ever watched (if we count the LOTR trilogy as one very long movie). If you haven't watched it, I'd highly highly recommend it - marvellous cinematography, swoon-worthy actors (Hugh Jackman! Christian Bale! Scarlett Johanssen!), fantastic plot line, overall brilliant.
moving apartments,
various scrumptious meals at La Note, Barney's, Cheeseboard, La Med and Mint Leaf. Berkeley food is heaven. There's even fantastic Indian food!
Die Fälscher, a Holocaust movie about Operation Bernhard (one of the largest counterfeiting operations in history) - an interesting movie, but not that different from your average Holocaust film (empathy and human sacrifice

And they say bullet points can't summarise!

I'm Loving Summer Loving

2008-05-24T02:50:00.000-07:00

OMG I am OFFICIALLY ADULT. GROWN-UP. With a white hair to show for it, bah.

So here are summer plans:

1. Classes - I'm signed up for Classical Theories of Political Economy, Introduction to International Business, History of Economic Thought and Financial Economics at the moment. That's four classes over two sessions, but I think I'll be dropping financial econ since the syllabus seems very syllabus to the class I took this semester. Besides, I foresee time being needed for the following:

2. Research - There's a conference taking place here in June, and papers to read for it, opinions to form and write about, and (hopefully) long discussions to be had with brilliant minds if I can actually hold my own for more than 2 minutes - i.e. recipe for brain-gasms. Also in the works: editing chapters of an upcoming book that's an extension of the paper we worked on earlier this year, and overhauling website to include an alumni network and redoing the current storyboard the website's operating on.

3. Driving lessons - This is LONG overdue and needs to happen ASAP. Stay tuned for narratives of how I instill fear in the drivers of California. Although very lovely people have offered to teach me, I feel that maybe it's a good idea to get a professional to help with my breakdowns first-hand - not the best idea to let my friends see me scream "ITWON'TSTOPwaitAHHHHH$*&#@!". Must maintain veneer of respectability for as long as humanity allows me.

4. Dance lessons - Probably one of the most exciting developments, because goddd how much I've missed my classes. Actually found a place in SF that's commutable to without a car, and it's the perfect opportunity to do some shopping on the side! The level of non-consumerism experienced this semester has been truly disgusting and I will not STAND for it.

5. Sun-soaking - If you haven't gotten sick of listening to me gloat about the weather, here's some more - summer in Berkeley is PERFECTION. Lots of sun and greenery, constant cool breezes, plenty of open soft clean grass to lie on, and the sheer amounts of picnic food here make staying indoors positively criminal.

6. Concerts - Going to ETD Pop tonight! And there's West Fest with Snoop Dogg 15th June, DCFC 21st June and Coldplay 24th July to look forward to. As I am not made of money, tell me if any of these tickle your fancy and I'll go accordingly. Coldplay and DCFC do sound amaaaaazing though (: Plus the jazz bars that are now very welcoming of this 21-year-old!

(p.s. Yeah I know I didn't blog about my 21st but it was very sweet with midnight birthday surprise - admittedly not that much of a surprise since I could hear Vonne loudly directing them outside the door - "No! No! We need to all go in TOGETHER - get in formation! (...muffled sounds) Oh no, those are Vaish's friends, that's why they're here." Haha I love you anyway Vonne, and am glad N only wanted your phone number in order to plan it. Is somewhat creepy to have two besties getting to know each other! So basically 21 = birthday cake, really wonderful friends, study buddies who made it a point to tell everyone who passed "Wish her! It's her birthday!" (hahaha gotta love Dank/Tor), not to mention the books/bags/chocolate received from the besties abroad (: Much more than a girl taking three finals right after has any right to expect. Major feeling-loved!)

Campus has emptied quite dramatically and I suddenly realised that without my pillars around I feel somewhat abandoned. Am missing my best friend quite a bit, who has been gallivanting around New Delhi while we slog over finals. Plus N, Am, Vonne are gone and M's leaving tomorrow. What's a girl supposed to without her besties?

2008-05-23T13:12:00.000-07:00

Oh ho ho ho I am so DONE! And officially a junior, and losing all my beautiful senior babies who will be graduating after this semester/summer and leaving me here all alone. Life without Um/Hem/Rad/Pun/Rah/Sab is going to be too strange to imagine. Waaaayyyy too strange.

If you'll excuse me, I have two months of Vogue and Desperate Housewives to catch up with. And a much-needed mani-pedi for my overworked limbs. OVERWORKED, I tell you.

Grrr

2008-05-21T21:47:00.000-07:00

If one more person calls me to gloat under the pretext of wishing me good luck for my final, I will drop the sweet-I'm-OMG-so-happy-for-you-congratulations!-girl act and hang up. I don't even want to study for Econ anymore - not that I have, since I started whining about it 2 hours ago. GAH so dead.

Just In Case You Were Envying Me

2008-05-16T20:43:00.000-07:00

This is one of the much more dubious, much less enjoyable, utterly pretentious pieces we had to read for English:

Caroline Bergvall: About Face (excerpt)

The original reading of this poem took 45 minutes. In trying to defamiliarise the context of poetry as we usually know it and introduce ostranenie unexpectedly to the reader, she instead ended up with a truly horrid poem that (a) requires the reader to take huge leaps of faith to construct any sort of sense out of it and (b) seems to be given a meaning only by the abstract that preceded it and the much-too-kind academics who took it upon themselves to "deconstruct" the meaning of her poem. If her purpose was to create a violent aversion to listening to or reading that poem ever again, job most spectacularly done. And I assure you, the poem reads no easier on paper. Here's an excerpt:

This is not a face
a f s a face is like a rose
s easier l this
th n fss
correlated to ah yes tt t waltzing t change

When face a point is found
& many others
Everything you've face not nt
fll pg not writ yet portrays tiem takn
writn port
Time taken stand in fr

(it goes on in such a manner for ELEVEN. PAGES.)

I really like the idea of ostranenie and with some of the dub poetry we've been reading, the writers did amazing things that really made me translate their works in a wonderfully personal way (Linton Kwesi Johnson's "If I Woz A Tap-Natch Poet" is so layered and changes so much when you listen to it and then read it). But Bergvall's poem, as a matter of personal taste, seems ridiculously self-indulgent and the kind of work that makes people snub English majors as pretentious farts (which they are not, not at all! I didn't see Anyone in this class who actually liked the poem). I'm glad it's in our canon though, if only to make it clearer to ourselves what is tolerable and what absolutely isn't.

We're also reading Zadie Smith's "White Teeth" for this class and if you know me at all, you know just how giddily happy that one single fact made me. It pretty much sealed my decision to take this class. After one too many snooty English majors had criticised it as being "too show-offy", "incapable of being read closely" and "amusing read, but why are we reading it for this class?", I finally spoke up in class. Since when is it considered a crime to be "too smart" - an actual criticism? It's not like when Penguin gave her that massive advance based on just 80 pages of the book, they were thinking 'God this book is going to ROCK an academic's WORLD'. They did it because they recognised how much anyone who's grown up in a multicultural environment is going to identify with this book, this piece of work that for the first time in the English canon takes the staggering numbers of cultural stereotypes we're all used to and delves into their characters in brilliant and zinging detail. You cannot read this book the way you read Arundhati Roy because they're completely different genres. So when you say "But ROY's book has so much more finesse", well Smith's not going for finesse, so what's your point?

OK RANT AND DEFENSIVE YELLING OVER. Back to Heaney.

2008-05-14T15:48:00.001-07:00

So remember the last time I grudgingly conceeded that maybe Fareed Zakaria has finally moved on and is genuinely brilliant when he stops writing about the war? Best example of that all year, aside from the Daily Show clip I posted:

Newsweek: "The Post-American World"

Admittedly if my RSS page had not brought this article up, I would not go near the Newsweek website with a ten-foot pole, but I really loved this article on top of Friedman's piece in the NYT last week about nation-building in America. I love Friedman's analysis of things (although The World Is Flat, while a thrillingly exciting read, is way too hunky-dory a picture of the world).

Maybe it's because I've been coming across far too disturbing articles lately, maybe it's because of the discussion with Ellen Frost last month about regionalism in East Asia, and most probably because when you work for a study center that specialises in APEC, by virtue of selecting on the dependent variable you end up thinking Asia's the most important place EVER. But articles like these only highlight a seriously controversial conclusion I reached on my last memo (that caused NiceEyes to look at me Most Accusingly when I told him about it): that the interaction of monetary areas may look like they're reflecting a cyclical depression in the US, but without aggressive action could very easily be the Post-It note on the next chapter of US decline.

In short, BUCK UP ALREADY. And stop your stupid populist and protectionist campaign promises that will end up miring your people in deeper debt than they already are in.

*

Entirely unrelated: the library is not a pub or your dorm floor. Stop talking so flipping loudly and bringing all your friends over to giggle loudly and gossip amongst yourselves. FINALS you freaks.

If Wonderbras Could Speak

2008-05-12T12:44:00.000-07:00

vonne says:
i want to take a break and chat with people
but got no one to chat with man...
SIAN RIGHT

v says:
WOW thankssss
you realise im RIGHT HERE right?

vonne says:
NOT YOU LAHHH... i need exciting!!!
you are comfort!!!
my secret support friend okay?
MY WONDERBRA!

v says:
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA
I AM YOUR WONDERBRA
that is truly facebook-worthy
do i LIFT you out of depression and SEPARATE your woes from you??
and cause RIPPLES of laughter to erupt

*
I guess it's not surprising that around finals time the most insatiable sort of wanderlust grips me and makes me want to go to Dubai or Jamaica or ANYWHERE over the summer. Anyone up for a quick 2 week jaunt to Dooby?

Oh no matter. At least San Francisco's 7th Dine About Town June 1 - 15 starts soon enough and I will have ample venues at which to drown sorrows slash regrets at wasted life slash general dissatisfaction. Maybe I'll even come up with some Grey's Anatomy-worthy monologues about Life and Greatness and Love and OMFG Meredith grow a pair and get Derek back.

2008-05-11T11:25:00.001-07:00

It's because I'm a greedy little thing, but I've been watching this video for two weeks now and it's STILL one of the greatest dance clips I've ever seen. So now I'm done being greedy (and I'm not kidding when I say I've watched it more than 20 times) and it's your turn to get some Signature (:

Back to calculating present value of cash flow streams. It still amazes me that a math-phobe like myself has unwittingly ended up in so many finance classes and is actually, surprise surprise, enjoying the crap out of it.

2008-05-10T23:08:00.000-07:00

I'm actually very thankful to the Singapore system for making me learn Tamil in school. I love the sense of intimacy it creates when I speak it with my mum and dad and Shri, even with our own strange dialect that my Tamil teachers in school would undoubtedly whack me with a ruler for (I remember using this particularly dialectic word one time in Primary 4 and receiving looks of utter disbelief from the entire class - because in pure Tamil, the word that I used for "house" actually means "river". Much confusion ensued.) I was talking on the phone the other day with my mum and when I put the phone down Um exclaimed at how Tanglish flowed so naturally. And having just read some of Vairamuthu's most beautiful poems, it's really something I love knowing.

2008-05-10T17:07:00.000-07:00

I HEART PUNJABIS. All you Punj kids out there, I heart you madly. I very randomly ended up at a party last night with A, Dank, Sab and Um where I didn't know anyone (they were Sab's friends). So we walk in, and within TWO SECONDS are pulled in by these lovely kids and I'm suddenly bhangraing with the best of them. And then I lean over and tell this girl that I really don't know what I'm doing, and the guys immediately start demo-ing what to do - "oh it's really easy, none of us know what we're doing either!". And general warmth and fuzziness and people coming up to us to introduce themselves and introduce their friends to us and by the end of the one hour we permitted ourselves to be there (hey it's finals time, speed-partying is all there's time for) I knew a dozen new people and made three new best friends. Punjabis know how to partyyyyy (:

2008-05-08T19:51:00.000-07:00

I think maybe it's time I stopped pretending like I can do this. Breathing is becoming harder and I would really like to believe that I am capable and good and disciplined and energetic enough. But maybe there's a reason this came to me with so much struggle and tears. Maybe it was so hard to get because He knew I wouldn't be able to handle it once I got it.

I think I should stop pretending like I can do this.

Be Kind

2008-05-06T05:32:00.000-07:00

we are always asked
to understand the other person's
viewpoint
no matter how
out-dated
foolish or
obnoxious.
one is asked
to view
their total error
their life-waste
with
kindliness,
especially if they are
aged.
but age is the total of
our doing.
they have aged
badly
because they have
lived
out of focus,
they have refused to
see.
not their fault?
whose fault?
mine?
I am asked to hide
my viewpoint
from them
for fear of their
fear.
age is no crime
but the shame
of a deliberately
wasted
life
among so many
deliberately
wasted
lives
is.

-- Bukowski

2008-05-05T11:46:00.000-07:00

Do you have any idea just how important Singapore is to East Asia? I am suddenly filled with a lot of respect for a country of our size that has proactively sought to make its mark - any regional trade or security summit must involve Singapore and its humanitarian aid record is humbling in relation to any other East Asian country. Say what you will about domestic politics, its foreign affairs arm is ridiculously talented.

2008-04-26T00:24:00.000-07:00

The weather is stumpingly perfect. Why Now, when finals are nearing and so much needs to be completed? Why pick NOW to be sunny and beautiful and trips-worthy? For someone raised next door to the equator, I get ridiculously happy when the sun comes out - almost as happy as when I discovered Cadbury DOES exist in America, in the now-hallowed aisle 1 of Safeway. Went up to Tilden with A yesterday and it was mindnumblingly gorgeous - the scenery, the breeze, sheer open spaces and plunging views of the Bay Area's beauty. AMAZING. And today I had a fantastic but too-long dinner with M Ser and M's German roommate who's wonderfully politically incorrect and brash. We went to my new favourite Indian restaurant in Berkeley (mad thanks to A for introducing it to me) and made Such a ruckus there! So much for getting work done. Maybe over the weekend, right? Right? Right. *convinces self*

Buckling, Buckling Down

2008-04-23T23:06:00.000-07:00

I was entering my calendar of events into Google calendars as per usual today when I noticed a trend: 2 banquets, a dance, a barbeque, a fashion show and a social. Add in the unofficial dinners, gatherings at "after-after-parties" and such, and noting that these are the last two weeks before finals, is that not a disturbingly social list of activities? Where're the blank days full of nothing but words, numbers and equations? The nights crouched over a laptop rather than dancing and being ridiculously giggly (honestly, alcohol is completely redundant when one is blessed/cursed with the man-giggles/guffaws that seem to find their way out of my sober throat)? This Cannot bode well for the semester's grades, oh no no nooo!

The Steve Wozniak talk last night went off brilliantly and I'm so ridiculously proud and happy for the very talented D.i.n.y-Aa.r.o.n-K.u.s.h.a.l-R.o.h.a.n team that executed the entire event - see The Daily Californian for the coverage. The man himself was quite lovely and warm, fielding all questions gamely. He stood at the reception for over an hour afterwards genially greeting every starstruck EECS/MBA/Haas kid who wanted to tell him personally what a wonderful inspiration he has been in their lives.

The scene would have made a fantastic Apple campaign: people suddenly remembering the MacBooks, iPods and iPhones they had on them and Wozniak willingly scrawling his distinctive "Woz" signature on them - cursive black markings on a matt silver surface has never looked so classy or good before, folks. And in the background, people narrating their personal stories to him - one heard him talk in 2003 and feeling thoroughly inspired, went off to start up his own enterprise. 4 years later, sold it to a big firm in Silicon Valley and turned up glowing in a quite impeccable suit to thank Wozniak for being the inspiration. Just fantastic, and totally worth the 3 1/2 hours I spent helping out with the event. Even if I was yelled at by a 75-year old granny who insisted she had been waiting "all day" for the talk. Lady, the first person got in line at 5.45pm, almost 2 hours before the talk, and neither you nor your walking stick were anywhere in sight. So turning up at 7.50 when the auditorium is packed tighter than Bechtel Auditorium was when Natalie Portman was in town, and insisting you've been here all day? Is a little lame.

Just How Many Free Passes Does Obama Get?

2008-04-21T10:24:00.000-07:00

How did a presidential candidate think he could attract supporters by condescendingly writing them off as bitter? If he was writing a research paper on the subject, fine, provided he backs it up. But as a diplomat, how can you honestly think people will say "you're right Oh Wise One! I AM bitter, thank you for telling me that I am merely 'clinging on' to some of the most important things in my life!" It does not bode well for American foreign relations that this is the hope of America. That said, map props to his follow-up statements which not only clarified his stance, but gave him an edge by insisting he was in touch with ground sentiment. I just worry that the rest of the world is not as big-hearted as the American public, and wouldn't be that willing to give him a second chance to explain himself.

2008-04-20T18:58:00.001-07:00

OMG seeing your name in print is SUCH A RUSH I am practically bouncing off my bed right now YAAAAHHHHH (:

2008-04-19T18:45:00.000-07:00

So I definitely wasn't expecting to be as sociable last night as I eventually ended up being. Despite deciding to skip Vaisakhi Bhangra Night and just curling up on my bed with a good book and music, I ended up at S's place with a bunch of people and we watched Aladdin, played taboo and general were surprisingly sociable. Which is SURPRISING because when I get into these loner moods it's quite difficult to urge me to get out of the apartment. Score one for naggy friends and the appeal of eating pizza with people I really really like!

Also, big discovery: Jasmine's probably the skankiest of the Disney girls. Put on some CLOOOTHES, girl!

2008-04-17T18:58:00.001-07:00

First off: the results of the executive candidates slate was a huge disappointment. But it's alright, onward and upward kids is how the story goes, right? Right.

*

I think I get silly smiles a little too often these days. Just a little too often to be healthy.

Today I was bopping along to a song that was playing outside while I was in the AAVP office, and fellow colleague had to clear his throat and go "Um. I'm still here." before I realised this was being done IN FRONT OF SOMEONE. Dear lord. Apparently he didn't leave when I thought he did. Just another nail in the mortification coffin I will ultimately be buried in. In addition to talking loudly about cow-plants and walking around with pizza sauce on my upper lip. Class act, for sure!

2008-04-16T00:10:00.000-07:00

The creeper status of the WWW is official when the maamis and maamas of the world start flipping through Facebook. Two friends in 1 day relating FB-related parental concerns = creeeeepy.

A Ridiculously Good Night

2008-04-13T18:14:00.000-07:00

SUCH a good night my goodness, it was long due after the madness that has been the past fortnight. I wasn't even planning to go to the culture show, right up till Friday night I was telling anyone who asked that I wasn't going. And then randomly at 11pm I just decided to get tickets for both the show and afterparty - SUCHHHHH a good decision!

The show was utterly fabulous as expected, but the afterparty was absolutely socks-rocking-worthy. Great music, absolutely hilarious and goofy dance company and meeting up with amazing people after AEONS. Some of the songs were insanity-inducing in the happiness they bring on - there was the most fantastic "Kajra Re" remix that literally made me screeeeeeeeeam out to the DJ that he's fabulous. There was plenty enough bhangra to satisfy my half-Punjabi heart and just the right amount of hip-hop to get chyo sexae on to! And 5 minutes after getting to the party my heels were in a corner of a club because although they are beautiful beautiful shoes, I am NOT Carrie Bradshaw and hate walking in heels, let alone dancing madly in them. Dancing barefoot? Um, Best Feeling Everrrr. There's SO much more freedom and let's just say that when the bhangra came on I shavashava-ed with the BEST of them :D

Ahhhhhh youth (: From All Perspectives on Friday was pretty great too - the slam poetry took my breath away with its power. I really regret not taking up Vonne on those Cal Poetry Slam invites, because the performances on Friday were phenomenal. Mustttt catch more of these without a doubt. All in all, it's been a pretty excellent weekend!

2008-04-10T08:12:00.000-07:00

I passed by my old roommate two days ago - she was a fairly quiet character, not much interaction with the outside world - and at the end of our conversation when I had to buzz off to get to my research office, she said "Thanks for the talk."

Maybe we don't value communication and listening as much as we should. For the past few days I've been making it a point to leave for classes 10 minutes than I usually do. I usually rush to get to my destination and squeeze into class just in time, so anyone I pass on my way gets at best a quick head-bob and a brief smile. But having given myself this 10 minute buffer I find myself talking more to people I usually wouldn't have, and it's remarkably rewarding.

*

Today is shaping up to be one of those blearrrrrgh type of days where nothing feels nice on you, from hair to face to outfit. And in this mood I've gotta study for my midterm tomorrow and finish an application, wunderbar.

Vote in the ASUC elections if you haven't already! It's ridiculously simple - http://elections.asuc.org and everyone should vote. Everyone.

2008-04-07T22:03:00.001-07:00

Some people need a sharp smack on the nose to stop misbehaving. If there's really nothing that interesting happening in your life, maybe a hobby like stamp-collecting would serve you better than making up stories, needling drama out of people and eroding everyone's respect for you. It's ridiculously boring and I don't have time for it, no matter how close we were in the past.

*

Completely unproductive days bring so much guilt along with them. Besides being ridiculously happy to see Van after Weeks and admiring her rosy/sunburnt complexion (HA I love you), having things thrown at me by N, and snoozing in Eshleman for a good 2 hours, did absolutely nothing useful. Gah will be cranky work machine the next couple of days. IGNORE IGNORE.

I Know How Fobby This Post Is, But Humour Me

2008-04-06T13:57:00.000-07:00

I love this excerpt from Laaga Chunari Mein Daag:

Vivaan (Kunal Kapoor) to his employer about a Lux advertising campaign on the quintessential Indian woman:

"The Quintessential Indian Woman - kaun hai woh or kahan hai woh? Mr Mehta hum usse kitne dino se dhoondhre hai lekhin problem hai yeh hum galat jagon meh dhoondhrethe. Actually woh yahin hai humare hi aas paas. (slide show of Chukti - Konkona Sen - comes on; and I wholeheartedly agree. She is one of the most wonderful women Indian cinema has had the privilege of showcasing) Aur hume use nahi dekh paathe. Woh obviously computer aur mobile jaanthi hai, par ros mannat mangti hai. Kaam meh zameedhar hai, par sabse pehle parivaar hai. Woh sachthi bhi hai, sabarti bhi hai. Aankhen tez tarar hai, par uske muskaan sabse bada sringar hai. Honestly, I tell you, surat bhi hai, khoobsurat bhi hai. Woh Gorakpur ki Geeta bhi hai pal pal bhar meh Bombay bhi bombshell ban sakthi hai. Actually, koi bandhish, koi bandhan ruk nahi saktha uski udhaan ko. And that Mr Mehta, is the Lux woman that we're looking for."

I actually really like the new crop of Indian movies coming out. In the past couple of months I've watched 15 Park Avenue, Laaga Chunari Mein Daag and Jodhaa Akbar - all very different movies but honestly, really quite brilliant.

15 Park Avenue: Konkona Sen, Shabana Azmi, Rahul Bose, Shefali Chhaya - revolves around two sisters (Shabana and Konkona), the younger of whom (Konkona) is schizophrenic. She lives in an alternate world where her husband and children live at a fictional address 15 Park Avenue in Calcutta. Her older sister (Shabana) is a brilliant professor and quite accomplished, and takes on the role of provider for the family that comprises her, Konkona, and their aged mother. The movie's shot quite brilliantly and the acting so effortless that my already considerable respect for Konkona after Mr & Mrs Iyer, Omkara and Life in a Metro, shot to complete gawk-dom with this movie. I thought the picturisation was somewhat over-dramatised - schizophrenics don't necessarily look that bad - but overall it was wonderful. And I squeaked with delight when Shefali Chhaya came on the screen; Monsoon Wedding was SUCH a long time ago and she was so superb in that! The best part of the movie was that it didn't attempt to discredit either character's universe, and by the end noone could be certain who the real schizophrenic was - the clinically diagnosed Konkona or the woman who set her own life on hold to attend to her family constantly (Shabana). I mean, I feel I'm raving about this movie a little too much because if you see their names on the DVD, plus Aparna Sen as director, you KNOW it's going to be positively brilliant.

Laaga Chunari Mein Daag: Rani Mukherjee, Konkona Sen, Jaya Bachchan, Abhishek Bachchan, Kunal Kapoor, Anupam Kher - flopped pretty badly at the box office but as always I thought Konkona was amazing in a role I've never really seen her in (Page 3, to some extent, but not really) - a bubbly naive girl who doesn't realise her older sister (Rani) works as a social escort in Mumbai to support her family back home in Benares. The transformation of Rani from sweetheart to "son of the house" and making money any way possible was visually fantastic - her costuming was impeccable. Hema Malini made a special appearance in the film and is every bit the Dream Girl she used to be. Not Jaya Bachchan's biggest fan (the woman must have tear glands for two people for how much she cries in ALL HER MOVIES) but I thought overall the movie was arthouse-lite; social messages for the masses-type movie. And for that genre it was very lovelily taken - I think Rani, Konkona and Kunal saved the movie from becoming too trite. Rani's portrayal of a social escort was really good too - not overly melodramatic and the hardness that is acquired with experience - was done really well. Anu (my cousin) always yells at me for not liking Rani as much as she does, but after this and Black I'll give you that she's very very talented.

Jodhaa Akbar: Aishwarya Rai, Hrithik Roshan - OOF. I loved this ridiculously! Partly because I had been waiting for it for SO LONG and because neither Aishwarya nor Hrithik has ever looked so phenomenally good. People who didn't like it and looked for things like historical accuracy, feminism etc. missed the POINT of an epic film which is the visuals, the capturing of a certain (admittedly sepia-toned) feeling of the time, and to immerse you in a certain atmosphere for 3 and 1/2 hours. I didn't want to leave the theatre when the credits were rolling and if anyone wants to go watch it again, I am soooooooo down. Ashutosh Gowarikar can certainly create an ambience. The definitive "beautiful" movie.

2008-04-06T00:55:00.001-07:00

As predicted, the past week more than compensated for any feeling of well-restedness I built up over Spring Break. Econ midterm was still poop personified despite the swotting; it's always nice to feel that your efforts have been completely useless (: That said, last night I got a major dose of Shahid in Jab We Met (this is my 4th? 5th? time watching this movie and I'm still not tired) and that, along with Cadbury, seriously made everything so much better. Post mani-pedi dinner with N A and Vonne was absolutely legendary as one of those nights the mojo is there with bells on and a leprechaun to dance a jig on top of it! We managed to make 2 couples very mad and a baby wake up because of our noisemaking, but geniuses who decide to bring their infant to an Indian restaurant for a nap need to be hit on the nose with a rolled-up newspaper. So basically a Friday night comprising of pampering, dinner, good friends and Shahid? Seriously no cause for complaint. Seeeeeeeeeriously (:

So Hrithik is only in an item number in this upcoming movie Krazzy4 - but MY GOD WHAT AN ITEM. I'm becoming a little too consumed with Bollywood, but the man is ridiculously beautiful and such a hawt dancer.

And while on beauty, I came across a video on Bollywood actresses in their natural states - oh my god. Only Sushmita and Aishwarya remain lovely-looking; the others look so absurdly bad. Best ego-boost, though slightly long:

2008-04-01T01:25:00.001-07:00

So I guess I'm back here, and really detesting the problem set I am currently working on. Have lost any academic mojo I usually possess (ha) and am honest-to-god sitting here being sulky and petulant and refusing to do work. SO NOT THE WEEK FOR THAT. Two problem sets and a midterm, campaign, catch-ups with people, research. I think this is total ennui =( Am not looking forward to summer, oh no no no. More studying, more classes, and only the thought of Dec 08/Jan 09 will keep me going. Also, someone commented today that my accent has had a "tune-up" i.e. become stronger since I came back.

Went for a very wonderful talk today by E.l/l/en Fr./o/st on her new book - East Asia's New Regionalism (stop reading if you're sick of my geekiness) . A particularly shrivelled professor at the table commented to her that "A year in Singapore is like 400 years in purgatory". Sure, I mean all-expenses-paid, earning in USD and spending in SGD, university-subsidised housing, cabs at a fraction of the price here, fantastic food - these poor professors do lead such horrid lives. Besides, I was there 19 years sir, what are you saying? Thankfully her talk was much more useful, very Jared Diamond-esque ideas and she put forth the idea of a pre-colonial legacy in Asia of maritime cultures that explain the cosmopolitan cultures that emerge along oceanfront regions. If she does end up doing a teaching stint at NUS I strongly encourage anyone there to take her class, I have a feeling it'll be quite excellent.

I am done being angsty now. Just because I CAN survive on an hour of sleep does not mean I SHOULD. Not two nights in a row anyway, new spring break resolution.

Gangsta Economists

2008-03-31T10:55:00.000-07:00

Berkeley Mafia
"As tensions grew between Indonesia and the Dutch Government over West Irian (Now known as West Papua), the Dutch lecturers began to leave the country. Sumitro turned to the Ford Foundation for assistance. ^[3] The Ford Foundation then began a process where students from the FEUI are chosen to undertake overseas studies at the University of California, Berkeley. After the Ford Foundation conducted some preliminary preparations, the overseas studies program began in 1957. By the early 1960's all of the students which had been sent abroad had returned from Berkeley and had begun taking up positions as lecturers at the Army Staff and Command College (SESKOAD)."

(from the Asia Times Online article I originally read about this in:)
"Sadli and other economic advisors liked to tell the story of Suharto listening patiently, taking notes of their explanations of economic theory, rice production and industrialization. In return, he largely insulated the technocrats from outside political pressures. The market-minded technocrats aggressively shifted the levers of monetary policy to bring the country's 600% hyperinflation rate of 1964-65 under control. Drawing on classical economic theories, the technocrats laid the regulatory foundations for the three-decade economic boom."

And there's a similar group of badass economists in Chile known as the "Chicago Boys". This is almost rap-song worthy. A really, really geeky rap song.

2008-03-26T20:05:00.000-07:00

Oh yeah, and home is fantastic. Quick recap for myself:

Wed: hair, dinner w/ Thong Ian and Worm, MOS with janie
Thu: shopping w/ Janie, shopping w/ Mum
Fri: temple
Sat: family friend's dance recital, Mustafa
Sun: meetup w/ Honey, dinner at Shahi Maharani w/ Mum and Shri
Mon: Jodhaa Akbar w/ Mum
Tue: Major sleepage
Wed: Lunch w/ Thong Ian and Kats at tcc, dinner w/ Nasty Shooj Andi and Shirin at House
Thu: meetup w/ XL, darshan

Privatisation Woes

2008-03-22T17:37:00.000-07:00

Shunfu Ville Privatisation War Heats Up

I've lived here for 15 years now but whether I was for privatisation or not, after witnessing the antics of the pro-tem committee in charge of the whole exercise, I'm resolutely against the entire thing. The evasions, the transferrals of responsibilities that are clearly theirs, the vague answers, the almost bullying manner in which residents who had not signed in favour were chased by neighbours in favour of the exercise - it smacks of a process too steeped in propaganda and vested interests to get my vote of confidence.

A committee is held to very definite standards of transparency, consistency and uniformity. Any committee that refuses to meet these standards or respectfully take the opinions of the residents into consideration loses its authority to badger me into support for privatisation. On the one hand, the website for the exercise clearly states that "it is beyond any doubt that the major stumbling block to a successful en bloc sale is that our estate is not privatized yet". It's repeated at several points on the website that en bloc is the only way to "unlock your wealth" and get more value from the sale of your apartment. But when residents raised concerns about selling their apartment (a lot of owners are retirees on a fixed income who want to stay in their homes), one Joseph immediately rushed to clarify that privatisation would not lead to en bloc. So who's not telling the truth, Joseph or the pro-tem committee?

Beyond all that, there are the simple questions that noone seems to address: if you want me to fork out $20 - 30,000 more for a privatised estate with the assurance that I will now get more facilities and amenities, how will that happen if the next step after privatisation is en bloc? Why would I pay for a swimming pool/clubhouse/other razzmatazz if Knight Frank is going to be on my heels in a couple of months to sell the place? And with conservancy charges rising (especially for those on a fixed income), would residents really have a choice in deciding to go for en bloc?

I completely understand if certain residents are anxious to sell their apartments and move to greener pastures (though I'm partial to my estate and would say you'd be hard-pressed to find a pasture with more greenery than mine). But to rally an entire estate to sign under false pretences for the sole sake of moving their own interests is small-minded and petty. It makes a mockery out of the institutions of open dialogue and transparency such an exercise must have.

Because If I Move My Foot Will Fall Off

2008-03-21T17:58:00.001-07:00

Nabbed from Van:

You Should Be With an Earth Sign!

Your best match is a Taurus, Virgo, or Capricorn

Why? You like your guys to pamper, wine, and dine you

Not that you're a gold digger, you just like the finer things

An Earth Sign will go all out to woo you - and enjoy doing it

And you'll never find a more trustworthy or loyal match!

What Sign Guy Should You Date?

Imma Back In My Hood

2008-03-17T04:20:00.000-07:00

OK failed attempt at being gangsta, but all in the spirit of Thongface telling me he wanted to hook me up with Jay-Z (or as he called him "jayzee") because apparently it's time for me to be married. Tried explaining that finding vaguely tolerable guy is proving to be a challenge in itself, let alone 60-year ball and chain type guy, but the boy would not listen so now I'm getting ready for my imminent nuptials.

In other news, am back home and really need to keep a log of food eaten because while it's amazingly scrumptious it's probably ridiculously unhealthy. Today alone has seen 2 samosas, kaya toast, tang yuan, a curry puff and a proper south Indian meal, and I haven't even gone for my prata date with Nasty yet. Excuse me while a button on my jeans pops. Also, the "disease of the tropics" is totally busting my ass as I sleep the most I ever have this semester - got back yesterday at 12, went to sleep at 3pm and woke up at 5am this morning - FOURTEEN HOURS BEEZIES. But am strangely tired right now again.

The March issue of Vogue is too delicious for words. I am like a kid in a candy store, YUM.

Long Week

2008-03-14T20:49:00.000-07:00

Ahhhh so glad the week is over. Slept a total of 8 hours over 3 days and was startlingly alert because on the 3rd day I had slept for 2 hours at a stretch. Seriously, I should make a movie about my sleeping patterns. I was walking on campus today and passed Brian who saw me, stopped, and said: "V.A/I.S/H! Sleep!". Then proceeded to assure a very hurt me that of course I look fabulous, but he just Knew I hadn't slept. I love this guy.

But I am going home today!!! Makes my entire week totally totally worth it, even though I am devastated to be missing both Holi and St Patrick's Day. Getting giggly in green and throwing gulal at my lovelies is not an everyday luxury so much sadness on that count. But the thought of mambo will keep me strong.

Berkeley City Council & Code Pink Need To Shut The Hell Up

2008-03-12T21:06:00.000-07:00

This basically sums up the madness that is the militant left that sometimes dominates Berkeley politics:

"Wouldn't it be great if there were some sort of organisation to defend that free speech?"
"Yeah, totally."

Oh and btdubs federal reps are threatening to cut the city's funding and the university's budget in response to this. UGH.

2008-03-12T03:15:00.001-07:00

Is late, and I want to sleep 6 hours today to make up for the 1 hour got last night - averages out to a healthy 3.5, after all.

I know we inevitably compare our current experiences to the ones that have passed, but I would very much like not to. Simply because if this keeps up - this inexorable erosion of prospects in the face of that ideal that arose years ago - then nothing will ever be good enough, worthy enough, comparable enough. And something positively absolutely needs to be good enough soon or I will go crazy.

Today is a horribly suspenseful day as it is, without this type of pseudo-obsession. Buay tahan.

2008-03-10T21:50:00.000-07:00

If I have any time to breathe this week, I shall consider myself the luckiest girl in the world.

Trigger Songs- Update

2008-03-09T19:42:00.000-07:00

Just so that at the end of my life, I can compile a playlist of songs that will remind me of these moments in life - am going to try to do this on a monthly basis.

"Apologize" by OneRepublic - Spring Welcome Week
We almost got the band to come down and play for us but they couldn't make it - still, it became the de facto song for the week.
"Dhoom Tana" & "Om Shanti Om" from Om Shanti Om
Watching the movie with some of the best people I've grown to love at Cal, in celebration of N's birthday. Especially the drive up to Naz, which was so funny and eventful.
Aap Jaisa Koi by Penn Masala
I pretty much heard this on loop during my crazy crush days in freshman year and got that whole silly goofy bite-your-lip-when-you-hear-it routine down pat. Great song though and even though I now marvel at the fact I ever had a crush on that person, it makes me fond and memory-filled (:

Oh and I don't understand why people must get so angsty about their crushes or people that they like. I personally find it so fun to have a silly crush, to dress up with a little bit of extra care, to feel that giddiness when talking to the person and then the ridiculously large grin that covers the face after walking away, or the sudden flashes of thought about the person that enter the head. Why bother with silly things like reciprocity and get ridiculously angsty and mournful and self loathing? How blonde!

A Revisited Ear

2008-03-08T20:24:00.000-08:00

This live recording of "Nadia" in 2003 at Paris is beyond fantastic. The recorded version I have can't even begin to compare - the beat here is much more dynamic, and Reena Bhardwaj's singing is just highlighted to its fullest potential here. God I love Nitin Sawhney.

2008-03-06T10:48:00.000-08:00

My shoulder is in So Much Pain. I'm not sure what happened but between being a slight pull on Monday and falling down in most tak glam style last night coming back from Vonne's place, it hurts ridiculously now. Who knew the shoulder affected so many things! I can't yawn, laugh or move my head around without the thing twingeing the crap out of my nerves. This is what happens when you go for extreme kickboxing three days in a row and then don't go for the rest of the week - stiffened up la damn.

Am pretty sure I'm coming down with something - my housemate thinks she might have mono and there's a bug going around. Bahhh am going to follow Mark's and Nathan's proven home remedy - water and an entire bottle of Airborne haha. Second day of missing research and am missing it quite desperately.

"I'd be safe and warm if I was in LA"- California Dreaming
Ain't that the truth sister.

10 days till I'm home! THANKFULLY.

Yeah Baby, I Like It Like That

2008-03-03T18:03:00.000-08:00

It's one of those times in my life when there suddenly seem to be a lot of possibilities, a lot of options. It's the best feeling, and it's as fortunate as anyone can get. I need to remember and hold on to this feeling. Robbie Williams was so right when he crooned that youth is wasted on the young, before you know it's come and gone too soon.

Stepping back for a second has also made me realise how lucky I to worry myself to death about studying for a midterm or finishing a report on time. It means there aren't darker, more ominous clouds that I have to contend with. Having been at that stage where I did nothing but worry about said darker prospects, it's only fair that I stop and take a deep breath in and say Thank you in the most heartfelt way that I can, knowing it doesn't begin to cover the extent of my gratitude. There's a certain deliciousness now in my relatively more naff concerns, like why my hair won't behave and how to find some information on the ASEAN Investment Area that isn't positively pre-historic (i.e. something after June 2007). And it sounds a little ditzy sometimes when I get excited over really silly little things, but it's taken a long time to afford this luxury, and I'm going to enjoy it as much as possible.

*

Speaking of the ASEAN Investment Area, here's a gem from The Economist:

(on SEA's faltering pace as an integrated economic region)
"It could be said that, by linking the region's cities with cheap and frequent flights, Mr Fernandes has done more to turn South-East Asia into an integrated economic block than any ASEAN ministerial summit."
"The tigers that lost their roar", Economist Feb 28th

Sure, it's snarkier than necessary and goodness knows I sympathise with ASEAN economic ministers dealing with the various exclusion lists. Someone quite brilliant - I can't quite remember who at the moment - called AFTA a form of "negotiated protectionism" rather than real trade liberalisation. So true!

*

Got this in my mail and it's positively fascinating:

Call us Malays, say Indian Muslim youth
3rd Mar 2008

KUALA LUMPUR: Members of the Malaysian Indian Muslim Youth Movement (Gepima) want to be known as Malays and not Indians.

And they do not think this is an outrageous request since the Federal Constitution states that an Indian is a Malay "if he professes the Muslim religion, habitually speaks Malay and conforms to Malay custom".

These traits are practised by Muslims of Indian origin today, claimed Gepima president Mohamed Kader Ali.

"I am a second generation Malaysian and I can safely say that from wedding rituals to the food we eat and the language we speak, we conform to Malay customs all the way.

"As such, Gepima is appealing to the government to streamline the laws and recognise Muslims born after independence as Malays in their birth certificate.

"We have been facing this problem for the past 50 years.

"We have written several letters to the National Registration Department but it keeps saying that it can't do anything about this."

Kader's son, 24-year-old Syed Osman Mohamed, cited an incident last August when he went to the Registrar of Companies to apply for a business permit.

"In the forms that I filled up, I stated Malay as my race and Islam as my religion. But the officer called me up and asked me to change it to Indian, based on how I looked.

"He only had my MyKad and it does not state there whether I am Indian or not," Syed Osman said.

"We feel uncomfortable to be known as Indians, because people automatically think we are Hindus when we are actually Muslim."

Kader added that Muslims of Indian origin suffered an inferiority complex by being regarded as Indians.

"Our children do not even know how to speak Tamil.

"They only converse in Malay and our wives wear baju kurung or kebaya nowadays, no more the saree."

(on a sidenote, I am so sick of the forum that I receive these emails from, because it is dominated by a radical rightist and leftist who will not shut UP - but these occasionally interesting pieces keep me on. Also, I am tech-idiot who does not know how to unsubscribe.)

My mum and I were having an email exchange on this:
(in response to something she said):

Yeah but isnt it interesting how they define race? The general consensus is that race is a combination of genetic and cultural identities, the former being pre-determined and the latter pretty much as well but more open to change. It's as if African Americans decided they only wanted to be called "American" - at what point did Malay Indians begin to prioritise the cultural identity of the majority of their nation, over their own culture that involves more personal experiences of family members and history?

It's so fascinating - I've never encountered this type of a situation before where someone pointedly rejects their historical identity for the one of their relatively newer environment. It usually seems to go the other way - e.g. Indian-Americans deliberately hanging out with other Indians despite their concessions to "Americanisms". Do you think they (Malay Indians) really believe this, or is it perhaps politically motivated - more benefits if you identify yourself as Malay?

So interesting!

Double U Tee Eff

2008-03-02T16:22:00.000-08:00

Saying a dessert has "a hint of caramel and mint" does not mean you stick a mint leaf on top and drown the custard in caramel sauce. Am loving this cafe's sandwich (peppercorn brie with red peppers and pesto vinaigrette on a crusty baguette - dear god yes) but will not be coming here for dessert anytime soon.

P.S.: Girl sitting at next table is pissing me off SO much by whispering at the volume of a helicopter. It feels like a tsunami of white noise is crashing over my head every time she hisses really loudly OMG. And I wish Vonne was still around so I could bitch to her instead of at the www.

I (Don't) Like Big Butts

2008-03-02T11:28:00.000-08:00

I love The Sartorialist so ridiculously.

Really really really do not want my Indian hips/butt, they are ruining potentially lovely outfits. I tried on a dream of a sundress the other day except it was boned in the back to flare out - add my already protruding butt to the picture and you could literally park a bike in that thing.

In one of our deep conversations, N told me that if you use the elliptical with the wrong posture (leaning forward) you can actually make your butt grow bigger. ARGH. Have not been near those machines of evil since she told me that - just think how awkward it is to have to maintain good posture on a StairMaster.

It's one of those drop-dead gorgeous days and I am headed to a cafe to study/flip through books while snorting coffee beans/gossip. Good times (:

2008-03-01T19:57:00.000-08:00

Hee hee hee. I would love to do this to someone.

My room is such a mess that at this point it would just be easier to move. I can't even begin clearing up because there's so much stuff Everywhere. So much for grand plans to be in the city on weekends, I need my weekends to catch up with sleep and remember what sitting down idle for more than 5 minutes feels like.

Two weeks till I'm home. It can't come soon enough!

2008-02-28T15:56:00.000-08:00

I didn't use to be the biggest fan of Fareed Zakaria - back in my Newsweek days when every. single. issue. Rehashed his views of the impending Iraq war, and then the war in progress. I used to dread reading the opening leader because ooh yes there you have it, he wants to talk about the war. Yes, it is a big deal, but to rehash the same points to death just bored and annoyed the heck out of me. Also probably a manifestation of my dislike for the US-obsessed nature of Newsweek articles, which sitting in Singapore, was greatly annoying.

Still (she ended, aware of her convoluted sentences), I've read other articles by him now in classes and after this appearance on the Daily Show, think I might be reduced to gawping hideously if engaged in direct conversation with him - my true sign of respect for someone:

"I'm suggesting that we like democracy in strategically irrelevant countries." - perfect perfect perfect summary.

Also, taken off popagandhi's blog: good god I want a wi-fi detector shirt. ThinkGeek is So right, energy must be conserved for important things like reading gofugyourself - who has time to take wi-fi detector keychains out of pocket!

2008-02-27T20:39:00.000-08:00

Don't ask me how this came up in my Google search, but come up it did:

"I'm Drunk and Naked on MySpace! Plus, more great reasons you can never run for office. Also: Are teens insanely boring?"

And seriously, it is so true. Every single word of it. ESPECIALLY the part about not getting lost in Vegas with three midget hookers and a pony. Note to self: book ticket to Nevada.

This is my long-winded, convoluted, boring, terribly predictable of saying I want more excitement, please. With a scoop of Phish Food on top. mmkaythanks.

DECADENCE!

2008-02-27T09:50:00.001-08:00

I slept like a baby last night for NINE HOURS ohmygod ohmygod ohmygod this is what being full of coffeebeans must feel like.

2008-02-25T09:34:00.000-08:00

The men in my life are such goddamn letdowns.

2008-02-24T13:04:00.000-08:00

Am procrastinating ridiculously; this is So bad =(

OK and I really want to watch Jodhaa Akbar but everyone's discouraging with bad reviews. Oh and the brokeness does not help.

2008-02-23T16:43:00.000-08:00

Very lovely chill time last night with my crazies, though Berkeley the Movie was a terrible letdown. It was as if they couldn't decide whether to make it a love story or something about free speech, which resulted in gratuitous sex scenes with a couple of faux-philosophical monologues thrown in here and there. I didn't dare look over at J because the facial expressions on our faces would have made us both explode with laughter. Went back to S's place after and ended up chilling with a fairly large group over pizza, Starbucks java chip ice cream (OMG SO GOOD) and conversations about microfinance, great man history, heroic characters and what to do about my dry hair. Lover-ly (:

People deal with breakups in really different ways. But honestly, trapping me in a conversation about how you are totally over so-and-so (soooo over him that you feel like telling me this every. single. second. you see me), when we weren't even that close to begin with? NOT COOL.

2008-02-21T21:16:00.000-08:00

S'wonderful what caffeine can do. At 3pm I was bleary-eyed from taking a 1/2 hour nap to make up for 3 hours last night and at 3.15 I was fully buzzed and in between a cup of Peet's finest did the trick. And has been doing the trick for the past 6 hours! See this is why you should quit caffeine - when you actually need it, it works so much better than if you drink it regularly.

One midterm down (so so down, UGH Econ is going to suck), one to go! And about 9 additional Engin 120 problems to get through. I gotta say, doing the math for this class is strangely fun. In a very self-abusive type of way.

RUSSELL PETERS IN SACTOWN come April, I am so freaking down to go. Any takers?

I leave you with a lovely lovely song from Life in a... Metro. It's one of those movies I feel like I could watch over and over again, even though I've only seen it once. Anyway, the Indian students' association here is screening it tomorrow and N nagging me to go for it only made me revisit the songs (am not going for it because must must must be at BERKELEY the Movie whee!). I remember being so ridiculously in love with this song all of last winter. Apologies if you don't understand Hindi!

2008-02-20T20:01:00.000-08:00

Woo I'm SO HAPPY. Just finished reading a really excellent paper on the evolution of East Asian regionalism, and plus the website's all updated and exciting: check it out here. Except that my picture looks soooo chubby it's distressing! Also somewhat tired and wondering how I will do well on midterm tomorrow, but it is all about Perseverance, folks.

In other news, I'm almost definitely dropping dancing for the culture show =( Is very saddening, but will probably do SAAW next semester, which will be amazing ESPECIALLY if they do tamil film dance. S'okay I guess except I'm pretty disappointed, but there is just too much amazing stuff going on this semester to give it the time it deserves.

Amazing stuff like this:

BERKELEY THE MOVIE

I know 1968 Cal has been done to death already (free speech, sex drugs rock n roll), but this trailer looks so Across-the-Universe-y! Hopefully without the accompanying disappointment.

Overheard today while waiting for the lift:
my Engin 110 professor: ... just the idea of submitting to a higher authority 5 times a day.

He is right, and I agree; the idea of namaaz is absolutely beautiful. I love this man; he is fantastic.

Had a really brilliant lecture today in English 134 - Professor F.alci knows his stuff! Watch out, I may start thinking he's as good as Mr P.urvis. Caaaareful now!

2008-02-19T10:36:00.001-08:00

Oh dear god - you retreat into hedonistic bubble for ONE weekend and all the world's events happen. Castro formally resigns in Cuba (BTW, the facial brush of the man is not to be believed), Musharraf accepts defeat in Pakistan and Kosovo declares independence?! What is in the international waters???

Left My Heart in SF

2008-02-17T01:13:00.000-08:00

I love Haight-Ashbury so so much. Had lunch at Japantown which is remarkably pretty, with some kickass agedashi tofu and tempura (mmmmmmmm fried foods) and headed to Haight-Ashbury after with M, V and J. My god who needs Powell when there's such amazing stuff here! I've only been to Haight-Ashbury once before and that was an all-too-cursory excursion with a single-minded purpose. This time was so much more deliciously relaxed and leisurely, really enough time to savour the different shops and all the wonderful clothes they offer. Not to mention the feel of the entire neighbourhood which seems to keep up a constant hum of energy effortlessly. I ended up with a bag that I'm quite in love with, and some amazing clothes to add to my ever-growing wishlist. Dinner was so-so, the real highlight was the ridiculously hilarious conversations that went on about M using his Adam's apple to pick up girls ("you like what you see?"; at one point the four of us were staring into the mirrors trying to work our own real or imagined apples hehe). Laughing at the oddballs dotting the streets, and late-night canolis at North Beach that were oh-so-scrumptious! Have definitely gone over diet portions for the next week at the very least. But Oh how I love my loonies and the food-fuelled madness that accompanies us (:

2008-02-16T10:55:00.000-08:00

R.ahil: "One way to tell if a girl likes you is if she keeps twirling her hair when talking to you."
Me: "That makes no sense, i twirl my hair all the time."
R.ahil: "WHORE!"

Can I help that I have awesome hair that curls up into the most adorable ringlets when I twirl it? Honestly.

2008-02-15T09:01:00.000-08:00

"Hey sweetie, happy Valentine's Day!"
"SHUTTUP UGH I HATE THIS DAY."

"oh yeah, and happy Valentine's Day."
"ugh, why'd you remind me?"

COME ON PEOPLE. What is so horrid about a day that's all about love, flowers and CHOCOLATE?! Honestly, yessss everyday should be a Valentine's Day etc. etc. but just like you use your birthday to commemorate the rest of the days in the year, so too do you celebrate your loves and being loved on V-Day!

Dinner with N and Janu ended up lasting about 3 hours, interspersed with randomly breaking out into bhangra in front of Dwinelle, and frightening the pants off N about her prospective mother-in-law grin. "V.aish, why do you make marriage sound so scary?" hahahahaa just because I told her that juggling a new family and grad school wasn't going to be easy (apparently in Punjabi families girls are generally married before 25? What happens to grad school/career plans?)

In other news, my research professor's gift to us RAs is....a book on global political economy to be completed by Tuesday. Woot (:

MIDTERMS NEXT WEEEEEEEEK! And more painfully, JODHAA AKBAR OPENS TODAY but I can't see it because the whole world is going home for Presidents' Day Weekend! Zindagi aisa kyun hota hai =(

2008-02-14T15:20:00.000-08:00

Hmm. Was contemplating flying to NY for Presidents' Day weekend but (a) it is very short notice (I didn't realise it's this weekend, somehow it feels like it should still be far far down the road. Are we really already in mid-Feb?!) and (b) the weather forecast for NYC looks disgusting for the next couple of days. Also, possible (c) could be have mounds of work to catch up on. Ooh yes. That's a good (c).

Hey There Delilah would be an amazing song to cuddle to (:

2008-02-14T10:45:00.000-08:00

Rather randomly, I love the view from the B.ASC office. Looking out while writing up memos on ASEAN attempts at integration and the declarations at trade summits contrasted with the actual action taken on the ground = marvellous (:

Happy Valentine's Day!

2008-02-12T21:18:00.000-08:00

Not gonna lie, my finalised schedule with all the meetings excites me a little. Who needs sleep.

2008-02-12T00:15:00.000-08:00

I love what I'm listening to right now - The Heart of the Matter, by India.Arie. It's perfect for my slightly melancholy mood, curled up in bed and idly flipping through abc.com channels because brain is too buzzed to sleep quite yet. Woke up at 7.30, in what looks like a soon-to-be regular pattern, and have had a pretty excellent day since - including a wonderful bagel from Hummingbird Gardens that will take some time to forget.

2008-02-10T12:03:00.000-08:00

How exactly is it already Sunday? The days are going by disgustingly quickly.

CNY dinner at China Village with SMSA on Friday was actually ridiculously fun, despite being on 3 hours of sleep and the guilt of the work I could be doing at the back of my mind. The food was so so gooood and I love Marky/Vonne/Van for ensuring that the vegetarian was fed. And here's the best part, there was KARAOKE!!! With Lemon Tree and Wannabe and Livin' La Vida Loca and I was absolutely crushed to have to leave so early BECAUSE I DIDN'T GET TO SING DESPERADO. Who goes to karaoke and doesn't sing Desperado, please tell me that. Still, 3 hours of singing and considerably hoarseness later, felt amazing to see everyone again.

Had a fantastically unproductive day yesterday, the kind of day that makes you feel guilty for WEEKS after - A.SUC retreat till 4 in the afternoon, shopping in SF from 5 to 10, and a great party right after until early this morning. It's good to be ALIVEEE!

It Doesn't Boil Down to Much

2008-02-08T16:47:00.000-08:00

Between 18 units, research, post-SWW finances, dancing for culture show and FAST's spring show, I think it's pretty amazing that there always seems to be 40 minutes for Cashmere Mafia.

There is a strange lull in activity right now for the next 2 hours, which I now cannot decide how best to utilise. Call my mother, whom I haven't spoken to in ages? Take a crack at motherload of homework? Put together proposal for the spring show's PR? Start tracking ASEAN movements? Keep typing?

I choose sleep.

2008-02-08T02:55:00.000-08:00

It's barely the end of the 3rd week but it feels like school's been going on for the longest time - was I really home less than a month ago? And will I really be home a little more than a month from now? Whatever it is, at least have pwned the corporate finance problem set in a manner that did not seem possible when I first started reading it.

First research meeting in exactly 7 hours, guess now'd be a good time to sleep.

2008-02-06T12:55:00.001-08:00

OHMYGOD I DID NOT JUST DO THAT. I DID NOT JUST BOOK MY RETURN FROM SINGAPORE ON THE WRONG DATE. OHMYGODDDDD.

Should have booked it for 29th and instead booked for 23rd I AM SUCH AN IDIOT!!!

2008-02-06T00:31:00.001-08:00

You know what can really make your day, between shuttling between classes and Eshleman, trying to finish a lab ASAP and grab food before it's time for another 3 hours of class? Walking on to Sproul to be greeted by the following remarks:

A (said in bitchiest gay man manner possible): Honey, what is that? That's just horrible.
N: Oh wow. You look like a McDonald's sign.
Am: says nothing, but grins infuriatingly.
A: If anyone from FAST saw you right now, they wouldn't allow you to remain PR director.

OKAY IN MY DEFENCE IT WAS NOT THAT BAD. It was just a long-sleeved red turtleneck with the bright yellow SWW t-shirt on top. Perhaps a little OTT cheerful for a sunny day when all clothing gains an additional bright sheen? Perhaps. But really, why whip out the BGM manner when am clearly already down?

The weather does change moods dramatically. Today's brilliant weather (sunny warmth and chilly breezes) for example, unleashed N's inner nutjob superbly; a performance was rendered that I have never seen the likes of before. A decided to crash Econ despite no longer being a Cal student (and never having been an Econ one), for what I thought were lovely sentimental reasons of wanting to hang with N and myself, but actually was a cover for naptime.

OMG

2008-02-04T16:11:00.000-08:00

Cannot believe I got the research project I wanted. Was quite positive I was too snarky to the interviewer for my own good (she was really nice but I was so tired!), but apparently it was OK!

Am watching the most charming quaint 1992 flick called "The Machine that Changed the World" i.e. our most beloved computer, in my digital storytelling class. The thing that seemed so cutting-edge at that point seems so deliciously antiquated now - wonder if that's what my kids will think about me :(

Oh oh and while on kids, had to endure Van's undiluted horror at my statement that I want 3 kids at dinner on Saturday. Never mind that a certain Ms Yap sitting right next to her wants SEVEN RUNTS RUNNING AROUND OK. So much worse than my very modest desires. And hahaha quite rightly, I have all the plans post-wedding, but no groom in sight nor mind.

"Today, we might be witnessing a strange new system that may one day rival writing." (narrator on that most ingenious device, the Personal Computer. Good one, Einstein.)

Nesting's Not Just for the Preggos

2008-02-01T16:42:00.001-08:00

This is quite alarming. I am so exhausted when I get home that even cooking is too much of an effort - have been glibly getting takeout every single day. Last night, A drove me into Emeryville and I bought about $30 worth of takeout that I plan to live off of the next two days. Sushi, Vietnamese rice with curries, samosas and now half a sandwich from Sufficient Grounds. And I ordered $80 worth of groceries from Safeway, which means I never have to leave home again. At the moment I am making a lovely little nest on newly-washed sheets on bed out of

- ERFs, receipts and grant reimbursement forms,
- plans for my EPR committee for FAST's spring show,
- copies of the Economist, FinanceAsia and February's Vogue,
- readings for English class (GET THIS: God of Small Things, White Teeth, Remains of the Day, Carol Ann Duffy, Waiting for the Barbarians, Philip Larkin! BEST CLASS OF LIFE LIFE LIFE. Also, most enjoyable A of Life - grades for reading books that I've read, for a second time (with White Teeth, for a sixth time), and writing about it. Goodbye German 100.)
- the mathsy equations of Engin 120 - how am I behind in school already???
- my laptop with the Googlepage I need to create for Engin 110.

I can't believe I ever thought this semester was going to suck - my not-so-inner geek is doing mathematical flipflops oredi.

2008-01-31T21:44:00.000-08:00

How odd. I really and truly thought I had shelved those memories permanently- until I repeated the same story to A today for the second time in three days. And while he pointed it out most tactfully (no doubt secretly wishing he had never offered to do dinner), it was hands-down most mortifying moment of the day. I need to stop even thinking such silly and clearly outdated thoughts.

On one hand am secretly glad to have boys like A and Am and S as friends, but on the other, god I'm exhausted and second week's barely drawing to a close.

2008-01-29T02:17:00.001-08:00

Sometimes it takes more than a friend's unflagging confidence to convince you that at 2.17 in the morning, filling out a new batch of expenditure request forms and calculating till the calculator literally seems to be running out of battery, is really the best thing for your studies and life right now. It seems strange to think only a week has gone by; Singapore and relaxed hedonism seems another lifetime away. Having completed the forms, printed and organised them by cross-referencing to the invoices and receipts, it's time to actually begin the homework part of the night, namely Kant's "Was ist Aufklärung" and a juicy entry on Noozit that reveals my expert-pro coding skills (cos noozit dem cheem wan lor).

I wish doctors wouldn't be so flipping smug when ponderously informing me that "you really ought to sleep more". It's not the sort of stunning insight I fork over for and hello, not exactly lying on the grass and staring into the skies here. Was secretly very glad that when I stepped out of the building and growled, Dank and Purv fortunately happened to be standing there so I could pretend I was actually talking to someone. Grumbled to them over dinner and am now back home, newly fired up to visit the city once my finances allow me to again. And oddly enough, looking forward to March ridiculously much.

This Weather

2008-01-25T00:16:00.000-08:00

Is soooo not what I signed up for when I chose California for a higher education. Yeesh.

Adie on overcommitting myself:
"If I cut you open and looked at your soul I would find it marked out into 17 pieces, each assigned to someone else. Your soul is not a Horcrux! You need to keep it together as a whole for yourself."

Finally hung out with the guys today after ages - my goodness it's good to be back.

So True

2008-01-24T16:50:00.001-08:00

I kNow, I Know,

2008-01-24T00:25:00.000-08:00

If I'm so busy why'm I up blogging, right?
Let's just say these five minutes are the only permitted chilling time this week. This, and 20 minutes of Cashmere Mafia when I got back home today - it was NECESSARY to preserve sanity. YOU try waking up at 6.30 and returning home at 11 every day on the very first week of school, I dare you. I DARE YOU and I DOUBLE DARE YOU. And tomorrow's awesome too - 5.30am (: Awww Spring Welcome Week = most favourite time ever. No but actually it's kind of great. I'm busy but all really good-busy, working with cool people-busy, learning so much-busy, crunching numbers numbers numbers type of mindblowing fun-busy.

Also, most favourite song at the moment: Low. Actually it's been my favourite song since 7th Dec 2007, when I apparently discovered it. Perfect song to blast and destress for exactly 3min 53s. APPLE BOTTOM JEEEEEEEEEEEANS.

Embarrassing moment of the day? Definitely hands-down the Chipotle moment.

Me: ... but you're vegetarian, how would you know that the steak burrito is really good? Midnight beef runs?
Am: Oh. I've....... heard that it's really good *guilty look*
Me: Sure, you've heard.
Am: My unique brand of vegetarianism.
Me: (sleep-deprivation => turning deaf and talking really loudly) No I totally understand. I meeeean, cows come from the soil, they go back into the soil - they're practically plants.
(this is the moment where two people seated next to us start glaring at me really hatefully - 10 bucks says they're a radical PETA cell, I swear. I turn red. N and Am are NO HELP HERE and will not stop laughing at self. Who needs enemies.)
Am: (with the cheek to sound really disapproving): You are such an embarrassment.
Me: OK you know what?! You start these stupid things-
Am: -and then you just take off with it and make it So Much Better.

2008-01-22T10:32:00.000-08:00

Great. 4th day of tabling in a row, and the chills are beginning to seep through my sinuses and make me a mess for the first day of classes (today). Add that to absolute absorption in SWW and I'm not quite coming to terms with the fact that it's first day of classes. Zindagi aisa kyun hota hai?

But new years' resolution is holding steadfast so far - got a full 6 hours of sleep last night! Despite getting home at 11 and needing to be awake by 7.30 today, I managed to finish all my work in 2.5 hours. Some sacrifices were made, like forfeiting an episode of Psych (currently No. 2 at most favourite current show, right after Gossip Girl) but hey, avoiding eyebags > watching awesome detective show.

(BTW, I do realise that these posts are terribly uninteresting. Ha sucks to be you.)

2008-01-21T15:46:00.001-08:00

God why is it so coldd. And the heater wasn't working, AND they were in the midst of replacing my windows so it was extra, extra freezing. Berkeley needs to move to Asia if we have any intention of making this work.

Also, I am missing home with a vengeance right now and the only thing keeping me sane is the Kerastase fragrance in my hair and the really really bomb mint facial cleanser my facial lady introduced me to. It's an aromatherapy-centred range, so excuse me while I go inhale the heady combination of jasmine, juniper, pineapple and ylang-ylang.

2008-01-20T03:40:00.001-08:00

This is making me laugh and cry and laugh and cry without a break!

Back at Berk and done with one day of DC tabling for Spring Welcome Week; became quite the pro at getting rid of flyers - oops, PC expression: "informing people about Spring Welcome Week" (Andrew). Much fun ahead involving purchase orders and cheques and other marvellous paying-people methods, thankfully mummy dearest packed enough food to last me a week so I don't have to think about cooking for a while. Not that I would mind now, because behooooold, I HAVE A SPICE RACK. I bought it in Singapore when shopping with Kin and now I have filled 13 out of its 16 jars with tastebud-friendly goodness that will make my alu mattar that much better. I did not even realise I had 13 different spices and herbs available, and I'm not counting sambhar powder or garam masala (which I now scoff at since mum has taught me how to make my own combination of spices - pfft to the storebought good!) or any of the Western spices like oregano, rosemary, thyme etc. How fantastic is this house going to smell (:

2008-01-15T08:22:00.000-08:00

My google calendar is sufficiently filled and updated so that I don't feel like I absolutely have to record what's happened every day since I got back home. Except, now that it's time to fly to Berk I kind of wish some more documentation had occurred. It's been too fantastic!

I forgot to remind myself I have to leave eventually. Now that it's time to go back it's that much harder, bah. But there are gorgeous memories of Nalanda, Gotham, Aphrodite, Darjeeling, Natalie Portman and Rachel Weisz. And most of all images of Aps, Nasty, Wiggs, Thong, Honey, Ian, Wormface, Kindred, Rosythians, people in general and brilliant brilliant photos (that I will upload once I get back to my docking station) for fantastic memories. I'm just glad I've blocked access to FB photos heh, Ian is like the patron saint of unglamorous moments.

God what a wonderful break. I needed it after the madness of last semester, but here's hoping it doesn't make me that much more reluctant to return to Berk.

2008-01-07T17:57:00.000-08:00

Long time update due, but in summary, damn I'm disappointed in Iowa. Obama's lovely and everything, but listening to him rattle on about change can't compare to the substance Hilary's offering - lest I be accused of bandwagoning at any point, between Obama and Huckabee/Romney I'm sticking with Obs, but it would be lovely to have HRC on board instead.

Not-So-Quick Updates

2007-12-27T17:39:00.000-08:00

Home is hot and humid. Which I was expecting, but certainly not that all my tropical allergies, combined with a semester of sleeplessness and random viruses, would bloom up in full form once again once I touched down. This has happened and I am now rarely seen without tissues clutched feverishly in one hand and Panadols in the other being chewed like candy (this is too much phlegm for a harmless Fisherman's Friend to deal with).

My mother has taken these sniffles as some sort of a trial-by-fire of her parenting skills and is ferociously rising to the challenge. Every day now begins with a disgusting concoction of honey and neem powder, which I have to ingest before or during breakfast. I've drunk the water of three coconuts to date, and that number will skyrocket by the time I leave, this is guaranteed. Additionally, I mandatorily have to sleep a certain number of hours before even talk of going out is entertained - a minimum of 10 hours a day OR ELSE. I really want her to come stay with me at Berkeley, I could use someone policing my sleeping hours.

Despite being under P. Jayakumar's unflappable thumb once again, have managed to squeeze in a fair number of shenanigans so far. The whole of one of my worlds now seems to live at Clarke Quay - what was supposed to be a quiet night of shisha with J and P on Wednesday turned into ages at the tattoo parlour and intense 5-minute catchups with assorted UWC alumni touching back down in Singapore for the break. It's amazing how you can meet so many people in barely an hour, all the while comfortably perched at Shiraz with roast eggplant, lime/mango margaritas and a nice full pipe of apple shisha. Dinner earlier with S at Raffles City was also pleasantly entertaining, considering we haven't met properly in almost a decade - surprisingly un-awkward considering that.

The Little India love affair of 20 years has been properly rekindled - have been there at least three times since Friday and it's been brilliant each time! Most recently with my lovely kindred yesterday for lunch; oh for more places where there is so much food you can actually taste with all parts of your tongue! I hear that the government plans to tear down the existing structures to create a New Little India, one that is much further removed from India than the current one is. If they keep tearing down all the places that have any real meaning or significance in my memories, it's just that much easier to stay away in SF or Manhattan where at least the change isn't so painful and in-your-face. The new National Library is very glossy and cool in a futuristic sort of way, but it just cannot compare to the beautiful brick building with all its memories of weekend mornings and my dad running up the steps with me to spend the day in there on one of those rare work breaks he was willing to take. And eating packed lunches of thayirsatham with pickles and pappadam on the veranda. Basically Ugh this is not cool.

2007-12-26T01:00:00.000-08:00

Just got back from watching a late night "Welcome" with the mother, and oh wow the Nadiadwala brothers know their shizzle when it comes to slapstick, sensory treats. And Nana Patekar is fantastic (as always!!!)

Paresh Rawal: please, mujhe Ji bulathey ho? Ithna izzat mujhko mat dheejiye.
Nana: kya ji, aaj biscuit ke bhi Parle-Ji bolte hai, to aap ke bhi izzat dehti hoon!

Legen...wait for it...DARY

2007-12-24T18:06:00.000-08:00

Also known as Christmas Eve 2007, the stuff of many blog entries and comments I'm sure. Two days of cooking and baking resulted in

(a) baked brie with a crimini-portabello topping cooked in red wine
(b) chocolate fudge
(c) orange-scented cheesecake
(d) bruschetta with tomatoes, basil and mozzarella

All of which disappeared most satisfyingly into bellies that needed the lining for all the drunken revelry that followed. And before the post-midnight buzzkill of hydrating people and helping them puke, there were some amazing conversations, antics and photographs created - born out of compromised lucidity and truly, truly wonderful friends. Merry Christmas everyone, and I hope your run-ups to it were as entertaining as mine was (:

2007-12-21T16:37:00.000-08:00

Just returned from a long morning at the market picking out flowers for my room, veggies for cooking this week, and eating glorious freshly-baked buns topped with warm butter and kaya. Oh mmm.

2007-12-20T20:19:00.001-08:00

"Oh my god, since you were gone I had completely forgotten about all the different types of alcohol."
- The Brother

Guess Who's Back.

2007-12-20T10:44:00.000-08:00

Thazzright (:

*

How exactly did I manage to wake up, freak out and do ALL MY PACKING in the 90 minutes before my airport shuttle arrived?! I am still reeling that such powers of productivity reside within me, think of all that could be done in the semester if I tapped on that more often! Then again, my clothes were completely messed up when I opened my suitcases here, and I have forgotten my camera charger back at Cal (I WILL REGRET THIS WHEN I AM LESS TIRED) along with my handphone earpiece. Blame it on the prior 48 hours of sleeplessness and the two finals I pulled out of my posterior before hopping on that SQ flight back home.

All that matters, though, is that I'm here. It's now 2 in the morning Dec 21st 2007 and baby, I'm home. Home to my lovely mother with her warm soft hugs and dry almost unnoticeably wicked sense of humour, home to Shriram and his worshipful adoration that he tries to mask behind a veil of MachoManliness. If only Daddy were back home visiting right now the whole picture would be so perfect - but his stupid flight back coincides with my departure, bah. Let's hope Spring Break is slightly more fortuitous, timing-wise.

2007-12-18T04:49:00.001-08:00

Hehehehehee. So I am the LAST PERSON who should find humour in this given that I can never sleep in the same room as someone else because of the one-woman plays I seem to live out, LOUDLY, in my sleep. But the guy sitting next to me at the library is so definitely sleeptalking, and in a high-pitched voice that makes me think someone’s feeling trapped in the wrong body!

Maybe this is the whole 3 hours in the past 3 days of sleep talking, but I find that pretty damn hilarious.

This Is What Sleep Deprivation Sounds Like

2007-12-17T22:15:00.000-08:00

Nads: "I didn't do the paper... just because I slack."
Me (farrrrrr too enthusiastically): "No, you're not! I bet you've never even OWNED a pair of slacks before!"
(long awkward silence, and the sound of Am banging his head on the table next to me)

"Wait so have you actually ever worn a pug?"
"Oh yeah I have."
"How did you look?"
"Well according to the girls, pretty hottttt!"
"... So, basically your mom and sister?"
"Yeah."

2007-12-17T06:32:00.002-08:00

The grossest part of all-nighters

- is not freezing in the library because you stupidly decided to wear flipflops out on a day when the weather is 9degreesC and therefore squeezing your toes vigorously to inject life and warmth into them

- is not sneaking food in and finding a spot between two huge movable shelves of books to hide and gobble it down before the green-clad witches of library monitors come and take it all away

- is not slumping in the cubicles to sleep and waking up with a little puddle of drool that almost escaped your mouth to land on the table (heh almost, in case some vestiges of charm about my personality still hover in your minds and need to be preserved)

It is forgetting to bring your toothbrush to the library.
And with those pleasant thoughts.

(Also, girl sitting nearby is almost definitely off her rocker with stress. She's dropped her laptop, bursts out laughing randomly, and just made a little squeal of excitement/frustration - who can tell. And I thought I already knew all the crazy brown people there are to know.)

All I Want for Christmas

2007-12-15T15:19:00.000-08:00

1. A ticket to watch "Atonement"
2. A new tote bag (because I am teh bag ho)
3. Many nights of drinks and dancing and laughter
4. More headbands. Am majorly into this Blair Waldorf-ian trend. It keeps the hair OFF YOUR FACE. How fantastic is that? But not the skinny crappy kinds, but nice fat headbands (for my nice fat head roflmao teehee) < / disgustingness >
5. For this cold in my head to go away
6. A nice round 4.0 this semester
7. A new camera - it's time to move upwards yo
8. Posters/pictures to put up in my room. It's going to be frame-full.

And I Wonder Why They Think I'm Ditzy

2007-12-15T12:23:00.001-08:00

At an all-staff meeting:

"OK, tell us your favourite sound, something other than music or people talking."
(without missing a beat): "The cash register."

You Know Finals Are Messing With Your Mind When...

2007-12-11T17:58:00.000-08:00

(getting back home after a long day at school, to see Andy on the couch)

Me: (going over to give him a hug while still on the phone with A) Hey baby, how're you?
Andy: Sit on me. Do it, do it, SIT ON ME.

Andy: _____ is really hot, but he's an ass. A really hot ass.
Me: He's not that hot, I mean he's Asian. How hot can he be?
Andy: Um, you're Asian.
Me: South Asian. Way hotter than the East Asians.

(an hour later on AIM)
Andy The Skank (12:33 am): ur racist
vaishnavij (12:34 am): hahaha
vaishnavij (12:34 am): and you're a whore
vaishnavij (12:34 am): but we all have our flaws
Andy The Skank (12:34 am): i worry
Andy The Skank (12:34 am): so much hate u have
Andy The Skank (12:34 am): so much
vaishnavij (12:34 am): oh yes (:
vaishnavij (12:34 am): hate is good for hte complexion
vaishnavij (12:34 am): ive been really nice lately
vaishnavij (12:34 am): which is why im breaking out in acne
vaishnavij (12:35 am): you could use some hate andy
Andy The Skank (12:35 am): i dont knoe
Andy The Skank (12:35 am): i like acceptance
Andy The Skank (12:35 am): and tolerance
Andy The Skank (12:35 am): they make me fierce

my most favouritest skank.

Interesting Conversations i.e. Ways to Procrastinate

2007-12-10T22:34:00.000-08:00

On the last day of classes, this is

Ran into M at Naia today and was at A at the time – after I get through the formalities of squeeing his name and gently mocking him (looking up hairstyles for a girl, comeonnnn!), he points to A who is sitting on the couch some distance away and goes “Oh, is that your fake boyfriend? Looks quite stylish.”

*

A does NOT HELP THINGS. by loudly saying things like “Hey, is that my chapstick?” in the middle of Naia, causing Am and N to both shoot me shocked and dirty looks respectively (Am because of the way it sounded and N because I am, as she has repeatedly staked out, only hers to use and abuse).

*

Also snuck in a random squeeze and chat with V at the office; most disturbingly, her first thought apparently was that it was her boss being extra-affectionate (no I don’t want to think about the hiring process), and then proceeded to grate on my nerves by emphasising her oh-so-glorious finals schedule ughhh.

*
(post PoliSci)

Ak: Oh I see why you couldn’t see my email address on FB, it must be visible only to me!
Me: Seriously? Are you afraid of all the fanmail that will barrage you if you release it?
Ak: Will barrage? Already does dammit, somehow they get their hands on my email address anyway *shakes head* What can I do.
Me: Huh, and Hrithik thinks he has a problem.
Ak: Yeah if he was like “Ak, I totally understand what you’re going through” I’d be like “Brother, you don’t even know the half of it.”

Ak (somewhat excitedly): Oh guess what, I had a Vaishnavi night the other night.
Me: *arched eyebrows and waiting to hear that de-innuendoed*
Ak: Yeah, I only slept for 1 ½ hours that night! But it was awful, and it’s going to take me all year to recover from that experience – I slept for more than 8 hours on both Saturday and Sunday nights but just couldn’t get past it.
Me: Aww I’m so proud of you. My baby’s growing up; soon you’ll be doing 72 hours without sleep and surviving on a 24-can carton of Red Bull (on more than one occasion).
Ak: … god I hope not.

on Hrithik:
Me: Did you know he received 2000 wedding proposals on Valentine’s Day?
Ak: God that sort of thing can really mess a person’s ego up.
Me: Yeah, but he was a fat kid before that. Ak: Oh OK then – just a restoration of the balance of self-esteem.

*
(ohmygod there's too much good stuff today:)

Me: But seriously A, sometimes girls dumb themselves down because you guys encourage that.
A: OMG NO. I'd be the girl-whisperer - I'd bring out the girl-intelligence. Is there a way to be like "hello, gorgeous girl? if there's an intelligent girl in there, it's OK to come out."?

Temporary Distractions from Work

2007-12-08T14:19:00.000-08:00

THE THREE-FACED

Who calls her two-faced? Faces she has three;
The first inscrutable, for the outer world;
The second shrouded in self-contemplation;
The third, her face of love,

Once for an endless moment turned on me

- Robert Graves

*

(I'd been looking for selections from Rapture for a while now, since I plan to go to Kino and stock up when I get back - and these two made me so very determined to pick it up.)

YOU

Uninvited, the thought of you stayed too late in my head,
so I went to bed, dreaming you hard, hard, woke with your name,
like tears, soft, salt, on my lips, the sound of its bright syllables
like a charm, like a spell.

Falling in love
is glamorous hell: the crouched, parched heart
like a tiger, ready to kill; a flame’s fierce licks under the skin.
into my life, larger than life, you strolled in.

I hid in my ordinary days, in the long grass of routine,
in my camouflage rooms. You sprawled in my gaze,
staring back from anyone’s face, from the shape of a cloud,
from the pining, earth-struck moon which gapes at me

as I open the bedroom door. The curtains stir. There you are
on the bed, like gift, like a touchable dream.
- Carol Ann Duffy

TEA

I like pouring your tea, lifting
the heavy pot, and tipping it up,
so the fragrant liquid streams in your china cup.

Or when you’re away, or at work,
I like to think of your cupped hands as you sip,
as you sip, of the faint half-smile of your lips.

I like the questions – sugar? – milk? –
and the answers I don’t know by heart, yet,
for I see your soul in your eyes, and I forget.

Jasmine, Gunpowder, Assam, Earl Grey, Ceylon,
I love tea’s names. Which tea would you like? I say
but it’s any tea for you, please, any time of day,

as the women harvest the slopes
for the sweetest leaves, on Mount Wu-Yi,
and I am your lover, smitten, straining your tea.
- Carol Ann Duffy

Balancing the Brownies and Bananas

2007-12-07T10:18:00.000-08:00

Am let me walk around Bancroft and Telegraph today with pizza sauce dotting my lips (classy, I know), until we reached Naia and N informed me that I looked like a clown with shaky hands =\ At which point the boy starts cracking up at this BRILLIANT joke that he's just pulled off on me and pulls out the condom song on Youtube as more evidence of genius fun.

Honestly, males.

Dinner with Van Mark Charm and Vonne really ought to have been recorded on tape throughout - when else can one four-hour dinners/desserts over long conversations ranging from Hindraf to Condi Rice to sex to ashrams in Rishikesh, peppered with truly sitcom-worthy quotes? Korean food at a charcoal BBQ place was pretty excellent too, though I might just be enjoying some flavour in my food after Southside's sandwiches/pastas/pizzas. Repaired to Au Coquelet after for dessert and proceeded to shock the establishment with, um, unconventional topics over three different types of pie (: I love these people and it's one last whoop-holler before finals!

2007-12-06T14:46:00.000-08:00

OK so I'm no longer thinking about going home, but about somehow, miraculously, pulling this semseter off in a way much less devastating than it appears to be right now. 19 units + FAST + ASUC + ridiculous social-ness = never again.

2007-12-05T22:49:00.000-08:00

Having A around is really like getting all the perks of a gay best friend in the packaging of a straight guy who has no inhibitions checking girls out with me and getting my honest-to-goodness opinions on them. Grin.

It's raining, it's pouring,
my love life is boring me to tears
After all these years
No sunshine, no moonlight,
no stardust, no sign of romance
we don't stand a chance
I've always dreamed I 'd find the perfect lover
but he turned out to be like every other man.

GOD. Donna Summers knew. her. stuff. Most recent obsession is disappointingly ordinary, so another one bites the dust.

2007-12-04T09:07:00.001-08:00

Ughhhh I have a paper due today that I had completely forgotten about. Go me.